I logged onto my MySpace for the first time in 2 years and I read through a lot of the messages that brought back a lot of memories, good and bad. There was one message that really hit me in particular. I know I said I was never going to touch base with this subject again but when you forget about something for years and then have the opportunity to look back at it you’re not so blind to anything after all. It is my fault. 

For trying to make somebody feel about one foot tall, this is me being the bigger person. I take responsibility for a lot of what happened in both situations, and I will take the blame but I won’t let it beat me.

I’m not sure if it was just the person who I used to be during my high school years that needed a lot of work and time; And I’m not sure if it was the person I was just a year ago still adjusting to whatever was going on in my life.. but it was bad. If I stood my ground a little bit, was secure with my being, and learned how to accept change then a lot of things would have ended up differently. If I wasn’t so stubborn and allowed people to help me because they wanted to or be there for me because they wanted to then I would probably be a lot more complete than I am now. Not that I am necessarily missing anything in my life, but maybe missing somebody that was supposed to be apart of it.

Looking back at it as a young lady, I realize that the beginning of all of this was over nothing but a stupid boy (I use that term with disgust). Not that it matters now because anything or everything will be too late. With that I’ve learned that I could only grow, needless to say that I am proud of the person that I am today (and yes it did take a lot of time). I know that all of the petty shit over people that don’t matter can be set aside when it comes between you and somebody that actually does because trust me when I say that people will get tired of trying to fight for you. I know that because I’ve felt that way too. I understand that people will change and some of the things that we’ve meant will never matter again, but that’s life and it will go on with or without you.

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